Morning all…..I know I presented this as a monthly blog, but I lied. I think it will be more of a when Beckie has a thought blog, ha ha. Or a when Beckie feels up to writing blog. The truth? Beckie gets pooped doing this alone!
I am very grateful to finally win what is my dues, however, it hit me…..I’m on Social Security which means I’m retired, doesn’t it? I was told by three experts I can never do lab work again which is hard on me, because that’s who I am, a lab technician. I always defined myself that way. Big mistake; don’t ever define yourself by what you do, because if something happens to you like it did to me, you’ll lose who you are.
What also hit me hard is how much freedom I had taken away from me. I had always known my life would never be the same while I was awaiting benefits, but now that the fight is over, something became real. I was jipped out of 23 years of working; I should have worked until I was 67. Even if I wanted to retire before then, I should have been the one to decide that. But I wasn’t; I had no say in the matter. My choices were taken away from me, my choices being my freedom. People like to be in charge of their lives. I ‘m no different. I was supposed to control my circumstances, they weren’t supposed to control me. That hit me hard and it made me blue. It’s final now, and it’s not easy to accept.
Then I woke up this morning with a different perspective. After sleeping on it, I realized something. So what? Maybe it wasn’t my choice, but I’m still in control of my life. No, things didn’t happen the way I planned. But, I can’t change that. I have to find out what it is I want to do with the rest of my life and just do it. God will help me. He has something else in store for me; my job now is to tune in and listen to what he is telling me to do. I’ve been doing a lot of listening over the years. Imagine if I had gotten paid for that, I’d be loaded by now, ha ha.
I guess my point is life is what you make it; things don’t always work out the way we like them to. Things happen; when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I myself like lemonade. It’s refreshing, and maybe the second half of my life will be too 😉