I’ve been thinking…..

I had an interesting evening this evening. My former Pastors’ retirement dinner was tonight and there was a toast and roast session. I wasn’t feeling too terribly bad so I went. During one of the roasts something interesting was said. After the speaker made all of his quips, he said this….he said the rest of the retiring ministers’ journey will be at a slower pace. I had actually been thinking something similar about my myself. For YEARS I had worked on my feet eight, nine, ten hours a day, sometimes with no break. The lab was such a rat race and I’ll bet not much has changed. I had been tired of the lab for quite some time, but I didn’t know what else to do. Well, I finally quit to go to cooking school since cooking had been a lifelong passion of mine. That means I was about to go from one rat race to another. But, you know, that’s me~stubborn. I never learn. Well, I think God knew that. I wasn’t about to slow down so He slowed me down. He wants me to do good with my life only in a different way; by educating people about a serious but sorely misunderstood disease. And He led me into the field of medical laboratory technology for the background to be effective doing so. I wasn’t listening so He MADE me listen. Given my stubborn nature and my need to be in charge of my own life, I forgot who’s really in charge~ He is, and He reminded me in a very big way. I remember thinking so many times, why won’t He heal me? I want to go back to the lab. I have to go back to work. Then I realized and said to myself, ” Beckie, do you hear yourself? I,I,I.” I realized then it wasn’t about me; it wasn’t about what I wanted or needed. It was about what HE wanted and needed me to do. He had other plans;plans for me to carry out at a slower pace.Like everybody else, I have a purpose in life and it is no longer doing lab work. It’s bigger and it’s much more necessary. People need to be educated about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome so more research can be done on our behalf and to stop people from being so judgemental and, well, mean. I’m not really sure why He chose me, but the point is He did and now I have to follow Him.